REALITY CHECK: Already overwhelmed mamas are about to have a whole new level of stress added to their already full plates as most of us choose to add Teacher to our titles here shortly when the crazy 2020-2021 school year starts!
If you are a mom who is NOT in the least bit nervous about instructing your child through distance learning or homeschool this coming year -PROPS TO YOU Mama (totally awesome high-five for ya), but for the rest of us we may feel like deer standing in front of the high beams of a semi truck blaring it’s horn while we stand frozen by fear to the soon to be deer splattered asphalt.
The ups and downs of schools opening standards and formats changing daily (and the inevitability of shifting again multiple times throughout the year) is a situation basically screaming to cause anxiety, frustration and self-doubt which could easily slip any mama into depression if not prepared.
Deep breathe Mama- WE are going to get through this.
Here are 9 things to keep at heart this year in order to keep the depression and anxiety demons at bay if you are a mama choosing to teach your child from home.
1. CHOOSE WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY.
We will have a 3rd grader, a TK’er, a Pre-schooler and a 1-year old running around our house this school year. When we were discussing options for this year my husband and I had to take into account a lot of components such as each child’s learning styles and needs, our schedules, our other children’s needs, the fact that we will likely be moving in the middle of the school year (out of state), how the other state will be conducting school, and most importantly our mental capacities as individuals and parents to be able to be the best us for our kids during this time.
YOU KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR KID.
Whatever method of schooling you chose for your child, DO NOT let anyone else make you feel guilty or shamed for your choice. This goes for all the parents sending their kids back to in person classroom teaching as well.
Every family, child, and need is different. It’s not selfish to admit you may not be cut out to be a teaching parent, or choose to cut your hours back at your job to teach your children.
Times are crazy right now, we need to be supportive of each other and not judgmental and aggressive towards other moms (or ourselves) for doing what we feel is right for our child.
2. HAVE A PLAN…and a large pinch of grace and flexibility.
Create the best plan and schedule you can for you and your children. Schedule your time for learning around when you and your kids operate the best. Time block so you AND your kids know when it’s time for school and when it’s time “home”. You may need to work with one child at a time or have one parent per child during school hours. Have a plan and stick with it, but don’t be upset if your teaching styles or methods shift. Allow for some wiggle and a lot of grace. Everyone is learning to do new things this year- including you!
3. MAKE IT FUN!
Not just for your kids but for you too.
This time is great for you to share your talents and interests with your kids. If you love art, get creative with ways to incorporate your child’s learning material into something with glue, paper, paint or whatever media you or your child loves. If you love to cook, introduce your child to fractions while making pizza or a pie! If your kid loves photography, take a field trip to the zoo and let them snap pictures of all the animals and take notes about each one. When you get home help them create a book about what they learned.
Point being- mix it up a bit! Not everyone learns best with their nose stuck to a book or on a worksheet. Don’t be afraid to incorporate your interests and your child’s into their curriculum. Think outside the lunchbox if you will and you all will have a more optimistic outlook towards learning.
4. GET OUTSIDE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!
This is a BIG one.
If you suffer form S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder) like I do you are very aware that school starts in the fall…and winter shortly follows. If you are prone to being affected by lighting and weather TEACH OUTSIDE WHENEVER YOU CAN!
Remember that physical education is a school subject for a reason. Your kids need it and so do you.
The FUN part- if you are teaching from home YOU get to choose what type of P.E. you and your kiddo do. Choose something you will enjoy just as much as your kids.
Ideas:
Run at the beach
Take a hike
Trampoline
Create a backyard Ninja Warrior course
Ride Bikes
Snowboard/ Snowmobile
Outdoor Yoga
Go Swimming
Hit the driveway court
Backyard Badminton
Rollerblade!
Build a garden (hauling, lifting, etc.)
Walk the Dog
Your kids will probably be down for any adventure, so make it one you will enjoy and you will be less likely to get down when gloomy weather starts to drift in.
5. FILL YOUR CUP BUT DON’T MAKE A MESS
I don’t know about you ladies but for me all the resources for homeschooling and in home education was WOW! The internet is a great way to discover all kinds of fun resources for your child this school year. However, picking through ALL the options to decide what is BEST for your kid can actually cause you more stress than assurance in what you are doing.
Pick a homeschool curriculum that you think will best suit your kids or stick with your school curriculum as a baseline if you are distance learning. This takes off some of the pressure for you to have to build your own curriculum (unless that option brings you much joy). Perhaps ask another parent what they will be using this year (this way you have a buddy).
Get familiar with your home school’s methods and as your child goes through the year you can jump online to find extra resources, ideas and tools for teaching the subject if your child needs it. Or if your child shows interest in an elective subject or you want to have them learn something extra not currently within the curriculum.
Take a breath and take it own subject at a time.
Remember resources are there in many forms if you need them, but don’t feel you and your child will need all of them.
6. STAY CONNECTED
This is NOT a drill!
Every mom in the country has just been thrown into an
unexpected tornado if you will.
No one is going to do it perfect.
We will all drop the ball.
We all need support.
It’s not the end of the world if this school year doesn’t go EXACTLY as we planned.
Spoiler alert- it most likely won’t.
We need a support system for when it doesn’t.
And we need it in place BEFORE the poop hits the fan.
We are about to go through a lot, and a lot of the things we will experience ONLY other moms will understand.
Reach out NOW to at least 5 other moms and ask them to be part of your grounding team this year.
Some ideas:
Start a Facebook Group in your area.
Join a mom support group (psst, I’m starting one soon).
Connect with your child’s school and teacher regularly.
Connect with parents from your child’s class.
Send weekly check- in group text to your mom grounding team.
Host a weekly Face-time or Facebook Room with your mom peeps.
Whatever you need it to look like, DO IT.
Because when you loose your cool over polynomials, Shakespearean literature, microbiology or heaven forbid political science…you are going to want to lean on someone who knows the struggle and is there for you.
You are not alone.
7. GIVE YOURSELF A GOLD START TOO.
Your kids aren’t the only ones working their buns off here mamas. If you plan on having a star chart or reward system in place for your “students” this year, by ALL means you best slap your own name up there too.
If you put all this pressure on yourself all year and never take a second to feel even the smallest accomplishment about it, you are going to sink into depression FAST.
I am planning on having a sticker chart for my kids this year. Anytime they finish a subject for the day they will get a sticker…anytime I make it through without killing a kid, I get one. When it’s filled up we are TOTALLY having a party, just like the kids would if they were in their school classroom.
If you’re not into cupcakes and kid movies with popcorn, you can always reward yourself with something else you enjoy.
Your effort is ok to be acknowledged and rewarded too.
which leads me into…
8. TAKE CARE OF YOU.
Please give yourself at least 20 minutes of peace to yourself daily. Get enough sleep at night. Make sure you are eating good and keeping connected and aware of your needs through this whole new experience.
Don’t be ashamed to say something if the whole situation begins to become too much for you.
If you give away every once of yourself you will have nothing left by end of the first quarter. Self-care is not selfish if it is intended to help you be the best you in order to be your best for others who need you.
No one can function on empty, and those of us who are prone to anxiety or depression need to keep this in the front of our minds. It’s ok to need a break, your kids need them too. Take them together but make sure to take time for you so the line between teacher and mom don’t get smeared.
9. KEEP YOUR HEART ON WHAT YOU ARE GAINING- NOT ON WHAT YOU ARE GIVING UP.
When you think of this obstacle of teaching from home are the first things that pop into your brain positive or negative?
If you are reading this blog it is likely the latter.
Many of us Mamas are having to give up something in order to become our child’s teachers this year. Having to set aside OUR things can be a trigger to start sinking down the rabbit hole of negative mental health if we allow it.
Make a list. 5 things you are gaining during this time. Post it up in your “classroom” where you and your kids can see it.
Mine are:
1. I’m getting to know each of my kids a little better.
2. We will get to have adventures and make great memories.
3. I get to be there to help my kids work through their struggles.
4. I get to do more things I enjoy while teaching my kids.
5. I can incorporate our biblical beliefs into our school routine and teachings.
When we focus on what we gain we hold more gratitude in our hearts. Gratitude tends to beget more gratitude which released more positivity about how we see ourselves, our life, and our options which in turn combats depression.
Here is to all us mamas sticking our necks out there this school year. You got this, one day or math problem at a time, because we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13).
If you find this blog helpful be sure to follow us on Facebook for more happy, healthy, and whole minded motherhood tips to support moms struggling with anxiety and depression. And please tell a friend who may need support.
Cheers!